You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
