It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
