??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
