oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
