i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
