there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
