I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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