And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
