I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
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