Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
