I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
