Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
