new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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