I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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