he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
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