Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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