Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
