Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
COCAINE IS GR8
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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