Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
All the doctor said was why
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
