This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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