Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
