I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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