Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
