We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
