I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
