I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
