Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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