guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
