it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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