pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
