You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
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