its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Please don't give away my fajitas
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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