You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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