I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
