At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
