i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
