I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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