One girl and one boy is just not enough.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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