in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
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