just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
