I think I just saw someone hide a body.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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