Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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