6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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