So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
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