Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
