It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
