While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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