Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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