either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
