Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
