I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
no you cant smoke seaweed
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
