I just cut my nipple shaving
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
