a queef is a wish your heart makes.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
All I want is dick and wine.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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