# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
