apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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