i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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