i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
