what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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