Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
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