dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
