I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
