Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
There r osticjed everywhere
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
