dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
