She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Randomize