I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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