I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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